A Regular Joe: December 2018

Friday, December 28, 2018

HOLY INNOCENTS

Reflecting on today’s readings and feast day I thought I would check how many abortions occurred in the United States in 2018. I checked at 9:27 last night and the death toll was 1,079,726 and continues to rise. It is believed that approximately every 29 seconds there yet another innocent life lost.

This past October Judy and I participated in the 40 days of life prayer vigil outside a local abortion clinic. When we arrived, there was a group there, we weren’t sure it was our group, but we greeted each other with Christian kindness. Then one member of the group took up the microphone and began to chastise the women coming into the clinic. For a moment I thought about leaving thinking, how are we going to change hearts is we publicly condemn the women coming to the clinic? We finally figured out it was not our parish group, but I did take note of the expression on the women’s faces as they came into the clinic. Their faces were set like flint. Their minds made up and nothing we could say was going to change their minds. I realized then, we need to get to them sooner. I also witnessed their expressions as they drove away from the clinic. There was a sense of loss and sorrow, they know what they did and I would venture they felt some guilt for the loss of an innocent life.

Others innocents come into our lives through the television set and the computer screen: refugee children fleeing genocide, others dying of starvation, people risking their lives on flimsy rafts to cross the Mediterranean Sea, men, women, and children escaping corruption and violence as they struggle to cross our border into the land of the free. Their only mistake, being born in the wrong place at the wrong time. These are the Holy Innocents of our day, pursued by the Herods of our world. Modern media will not allow us to wall them out of our consciousness.

Long ago, the Child of Bethlehem was one of them. He came to save the world, but he had to get out of town to escape a power system that could not accept him. “Our ancestors were unwilling to obey him; instead, they pushed him aside and, in their hearts, turned back to Egypt.” (Act 7:39 NABRE) He was a threat to the movers and shakers. Eventually he would not hide from those who sought to annihilate him and what he stood for. Like an innocent lamb, he died as a criminal on a cross.

Innocents still face annihilation. Even before birth, they are hounded. And if they manage to get born, they are not welcomed. The sins against the Holy Innocents cry out to heaven. We must find ways to reverse the heartless cruelty—not by condemnation—but rather through our prayers, through formation of conscience by what and how we communicate our values for the dignity of all people from conception to natural death and through our merciful and compassionate actions. We must learn how to set today’s Innocents free from the snare, to bring the Christ Child back from exile in Egypt.

Friday, December 21, 2018

FIVE LOVE LANGUAGES

On the surface, the poetry in the book of Song of Songs expresses love between a man and woman; at a deeper level, it expresses the awesome love between God and humanity.Yet, for us, it is through our human interactions is the only way we can experience God’s love for now through what researchers call the Five Love Languages.

The first way to express love is to use of “WORDS OF AFFIRMATION” that build up. Solomon, author of ancient Hebrew Wisdom Literature, wrote, “Death and life are in the power of the tongue” (Prv 18:21). Unfortunately, many in our world have never learned or forgotten the tremendous power of verbally affirming each other.

Those we love require “QUALITY TIME”. By “quality time” I mean giving someone your undivided attention. Sitting on the couch watching television together, doesn’t count as quality time. Giving each other our undivided attention means talking with each other, going out to eat, and actually looking at each other while we talk. Time is a precious commodity often stolen away by the many demands on our lives. In our Gospel today, we hear that Mary went “in haste” (Lk 1:39) to be present to Elizabeth.

Almost everything ever written on the subject of love indicates that at the heart of love is the spirit of giving. All five love languages challenge us to give, but for some, “RECEIVING GIFTS”, visible symbols of love, speaks the loudest. You must be thinking of someone to give them a gift.

Jesus’ primary love language was “ACTS OF SERVICE”. His acts of service included healings & feedings, his presence, encouragement to repent, and his sharing message of hope, sharing the good news. His entire being was about serving the other, especially the lost, the outcast, and the forsaken.

We have long known that “PHYSICAL TOUCH” is a way of communicating love. Research projects in the area of child development have concluded babies who are held, stroked and kissed develop a healthier emotional life than those who are left for long periods of time without physical contact. Physical touch is a powerful way to communicate love, a hand shake, a hug, a simple kiss on the forehead or check, or a sign of peace in our liturgy all express a love of neighbor.[1]

From the Annunciation, to the Nativity, right up to the invitation to enter into Jesus’ passion, death and resurrection in this Eucharistic celebration; Luke wants his readers and us to recognize the Holy Spirit as the driving force in the lives of God’s faithful love for his people. He wants us to understand the Eucharist is God’s love language.

Friday, December 14, 2018

POSITIVE PEER PRESSURE

When we think about peer pressure, we might think about our adolescence years and remember Mom always asking if we'd jump off of a bridge just because everybody else was doing it. But adults experience peer pressure, too. It may not be as direct or intentional as the kind of peer pressure teenagers experience, but peer pressure in adulthood can be every bit as harmful.

If you've adopted values, beliefs, goals or hobbies based on what others in your peer group believe or do, you've experienced peer pressure, whether positive or negative.

Maybe you drink to excess on the weekends even though you don't enjoy it, because that's what your friends do or you work a lot of overtime to afford the kind of lifestyle of your siblings or friend, even though it’s a lifestyle that doesn't really excite you. Negative peer pressure leads us to behave in ways that contradict our true values.

On the other hand, maybe you quit smoking because your non-smoking friends were supportive, or maybe you returned to Church because so many of your peer group were excited about their parish life. Positive peer pressure leads us to make choices consistent with our inherent values.[1]

“Blessed the man who follows not the counsel of the wicked nor walks in the way of sinners, nor sits in the company of the insolent” (Ps 1:1). My parent used to tell me, be your own person, be careful who you hang around.

St. John of the Cross is a saint because his life was a heroic effort to live up to his name: “of the Cross.” The folly of the cross came to full realization in time. “Whoever wishes to come after me must deny himself, take up his cross, and follow me” (Mark 8:34) is the story of John’s life. The Paschal Mystery—through death to life—strongly marks John as reformer, mystic-poet, and theologian-priest. What if we would let Jesus be the source of the peer pressure we succumb too? We are called to be a source of positive peer pressure. Instigators of Joy, Love, Peace & Hope in an often struggling world.

The first reading says, “I, the LORD, your God, teach you what is for your good, and lead you on the way you should go.” (Is 48:17) If we let others determine the kind of person we should be, then we are not free to be the person God made us to be.

[1] Sylvia Brafman Mental Health Center Blog, “How To Deal With Peer Pressure as an Adult” http://www.mentalhealthcenter.org/how-to-deal-with-peer-pressure-as-an-adult/

Sunday, December 2, 2018

ARE WE DOING OUR BEST?

[1]Years ago, when stationed in Hawaii, I coached flag football for some years. I had the young kids just starting their football careers. They were of the age where they needed lots of very specific direction and a generous portion of encouragement. We were a good team winning often. We started every game reminding the players of their specific job and encouraged them to do their best. When the game ended, I always asked the kids, “did you do your best?” It seemed so easy to feel their best when they were winning. It was after first loss, a tearful loss I must say, that the real learning began. Much to the surprise of the on looking parents and sports director my after-game talk was the same, “Did you do your best?” Some would share how they felt they made mistakes and I’d ask them to describe the mistake. My last question was, “how do we get better?” We’d end with, “even if we lose the game, if we did our best, we can go forward with our heads held up, because we are learning to be a better player and teammate.”

You see in sports there are mini advents. As each game ends, we took the time to reflect on our performance, rededicate ourselves to make the necessary commitment to improve, trying to avoid the same mistakes, all in preparation for the beginning of the next game. Isn’t this what God is calling us to do as we begin the Advent season?

Our first reading is framed in the form of a prophesy for the material and spiritual renewal of the Jerusalem population devastated by the long siege by Babylon. For the Israelite nation the future seemed to be dark, the clouds heavy and rain pouring down upon them. Yet Jeremiah reminds them of God’s promise to “raise up for David a shoot; he shall do what is right and just … and Jerusalem shall dwell secure.” (Jer 33:15-16) Throughout the Book of Jeremiah the Nation of Israel is encouraged to give their best to God, to turn from vain idols, and walk with their heads held up having faith, hope and trust in God’s promises.

We find in St. Paul’s letter to the Thessalonians a formula for preparing ourselves to be a prophesy of hope for a very troubled world. Paul tells us to ask the Lord to make us “increase and abound in love for one another and all, [and to] strengthen our hearts to be blameless in holiness” (1 Thes 3:12). All too often we hear, “I won’t talk to or forgive so-and-so, until they apologize or agree to some other condition.” Paul desires a mature, fraternal love, open to everyone in the community. I use to tell the young players you may not like your teammate, but for the sake of the team you must respect them and learn to encourage each other. We win together and we lose together. For us, we might not like our neighbor, like the way they speak, their political ideology, or even how our neighbor on the street smells; yet for the sake of our salvation, we must respect them and lift them up as a fellow child of God. This is the finest preparation and guarantee to meet the Lord when he comes. Are we doing our best? Are we practicing what we have attained by our Baptism in Christ?

Let’s talk about the Lord’s coming. Jesus borrows images of the prophets, telling us there will be signs announcing his return. The key to his message is to “Beware that our hearts do not become drowsy from carousing and drunkenness and the anxieties of daily life.” (Lk 21:34) He is telling us in our preparation, as we are attentive to the signs, we must avoid getting drunk on the things of this passing world. He is telling us, You and I just might be the signs to which others look to see, “the Son of Man” (Lk 21:27) the hope of God’s promise.

Last week, in our celebration of Christ the King, Fr. Josh reminded us that in every Eucharist we get to see the King of Kings face-to-face. Every time we celebrate the Mass, we can experience an Advent, an ending yet a beginning. An opportunity to ask am I doing my best? An opportunity to acknowledge our mistakes, ours sins. An opportunity to recommit to doing better. And an opportunity to enter into the passion, death and resurrection of Jesus, to be strengthened by His body and blood so as we re-engage the world with our heads raised as we experience the Lord’s presence now. What do we hope for at Christmas but freedom from the chains of an obstinate character, the liberation of our life from attitudes and unhealthy activities that enslave us in the present? In doing our best we may still be apprehensive in the face of the announcement of God’s coming. Yet, in this unpredictable world, God assures us of his care. In our vulnerability, God comes as the most vulnerable of all, a newborn child.[2]