A Regular Joe: December 2015

Sunday, December 27, 2015

WITH GREAT ANXIETY!

I enjoy listening to Stephen Ray, he get so excited about finding scriptural connections as he constantly engages scripture. As I reflected on scripture this week one work jumped out at me, "anxiety". Remember in the third week of advent, during our preparation time for the birth of Jesus, Paul exhorts the Philippians from, his prison cell to, “Have no anxiety at all, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, make you requests known to God.” (Phil 4:6) and in today’s gospel reading we hear Mary engage Jesus with, “Son, why have you done this to us? Your father and I have been looking for you with great anxiety.” (Lk 2:48) What happened to having no anxiety at all?

The truth is there is but one kind of story that will hold our attention and feed our anxieties more than a missing child. “Did she run away?” “Will they find her?” “Has he been kidnapped?” “Is he still alive?” The closer the family connection the greater the anxiety and with each passing day we fear the worst until suddenly one day the child turns up and is reunited with the parents, and millions of people who have been following the story breath a collective sigh of relief. Even with this seemingly happy ending, it may not be quite over; there are questions to be answered. That’s what Mary and Joseph went through for three long days, for no apparent reason, their son disappeared.[1]

Even if you are not married, or don’t have children of your own, you know raising a family brings with it all kinds of highs and lows. Children make their parents proud and disappoint them, make them laugh and cry, make them worry and remind them to lighten up. To bring them up right, you have to play seemingly conflicting roles. You must be both demanding and reasonable. You have to challenge them even as you affirm them. You must know when to keep a short leash, and when to let go. And you have to do it differently for each child!

Since the Annunciation, Mary understood the importance of her child, but her adoration must have been matched by a sense of fearful foreshadowing. Remember Simeon’s words, “Behold, this child is destined for the fall and rise of many in Israel, and to be a sign that will be contradicted and you yourself a sword will pierce so that the thoughts of many hearts may be revealed.” (Lk 2:34-35) If she worried, it was not in vain. One of the most beautiful glimpses into Mary’s parenting can be found here in Luke, where we read, “…his mother treasured all these things in her heart.” (Lk 2:51) Yes, Mary is blessed among women, but that blessedness comes with a great burden of responsibility. And with all of that, Mary models to us a bit about parenting all children here. She shows us a bit about life in general, because Mary learned to treasure things. Even in those times when she was frustrated and angry with Jesus for disappearing and allowing her to think that the worst had happened to him, she treasured things.[2]

How do we treasure things? Camera phones, Facebook, Youtube. We plan special trips the Disneyland and dress our children up in cute outfits at the theme parks, then our memories will be even better! Don’t forget the scrapbooking. We need the acid-free paper, special scissors and particular albums to make sure that we treasure our moments properly. But as we buy the products that manufacture memories for our consumption, are we able to take delight in our children? Somehow Mary managed to treasure all of those things without a smartphone.

With a media that manufactures fear, we can become overwhelmed by worry and concern. With the marketing of memories, we can become more interested in what we do not have than what we have. And with the simple realities of parenting, we can become so preoccupied with the sleeplessness, messiness, and chaos that we forget to treasure things. But can we learn from Mary?

I can tell you this as the grandparent of a 21 month old grandson that I have learned to treasure so much more. I believe our daughter gets it as evidenced by her facebook post that reads, “You will never have this day with your children again. Tomorrow they’ll be a little older than they were today. This day is a gift. Just breathe, notice, study their faces and little feet. Pay attention. Relish the charms of the present. Enjoy today, it will be over before you know it.” Watching the messiness of my daughter’s family life helps me recall the memories of my own children’s upbringing. We had our share of sleeplessness, messiness and chaos; and I wouldn’t trade those treasured memories for anything in the world.

Jesus, Mary, and Joseph were not plaster saints; they were real people, going through the same highs and lows that we experience. They remind us that, no matter what happens in a family, wounds are never too deep to heal. Let me repeat this, no matter what happens in a family, wounds are never too deep to heal. There were probably some neighbors who thought Mary didn’t do such a good job as a parent. After all, her son was executed as a criminal. That’s how much they knew.[3]

New American Bible: 1 Samuel 1:20-22, 24-28; 1 John 3:1-2,21-24; Luke 2:41-52

Sunday, December 20, 2015

THE PRESENT OF PRESENCE

As the saying goes, “It’s the thought that counts” when it comes to giving out gifts. Right?! However, have you ever received a gift from your partner that made you want to say, “Seriously, what were you thinking?”

With Christmas a few days away and only a few opportunities left to go out and get something nice for your loved ones, I thought this would be a good time to discuss the 10 worst gifts a man can get his partner:

#10 Nothing. It doesn’t matter if she told you she wanted nothing, this is code talk for, “We’ve been together long enough, you should be able to figure out what I would like for Christmas

#9 Cash. Often my wife gives me a list, but then I catch her buying the these same things on my list for her. It makes sense just to give her a card with cash so she can get whatever she wants.

#8 Home Depot Gift Card. While there are some women who would love a HD Gift Card, the norm would suggest a question like; “who are you getting the gift for anyway?”

#7 Framed Picture of Yourself. This might smack a bit to narcissistic for her.

Now the next 5 items might also beg the question, “What are you trying to say?”

#6 Cooking Stuff.

#5 Gym Membership

#4 Weight Loss Plan/Book

#3 Weight Watchers Scale

#2 Personal Hygiene Supplies (i.e. wrinkle remover)

And the #1 worst gift a man can get his partner for Christmas is a vacuum cleaner.

There is no doubt this may have just made someone’s last minute Christmas rush to find just the right gift a little more stressful. As we celebrate the fourth Sunday of Advent it is human nature to be focused on the “presents”—the gifts of Christmas. Yet the Church, in her infinite wisdom, gives us a gospel to ponder and pray over that will grab our attention away from the shopping and remind us that indeed it is our “presence” that is much more important than the “presents” we will give and receive.

Mary’s visitation is not about her own pregnancy but rather reaching out to others, in this case her cousin, Elizabeth. Let’s put Mary’s gift of “presence” into perspective. It really is a well thought out gift! Mary knows her cousin, in her advanced age, is 6 months pregnant home with her husband who is also advanced in years and mute. Mary knows Elizabeth won’t be able to go to the market, to draw water, or look after the crops. Keep in mind: this is not a walk around the block for Mary! It is a 78 mile trek, by foot and donkey by a pregnant 14 year old. There is no mention in scripture of housewarming gifts in tow, food platers or wrapped baby gifts. Rather, Mary filled with the divine presence gives Elizabeth the gift of her “presence”. Her gift acknowledged first by a joyous leap of John the Baptist in his mother’s womb. “When Elizabeth heard Mary’s greeting, the infant leaped in her womb, and Elizabeth, filled with the Holy Spirit, cried out in a loud voice and said, “Most blessed are you among women, and blessed is the fruit of your womb. And how does this happen to me that the mother of my Lord should come to me?” (Lk 1:41-42) Mary’s present of presence is an unexpected gift for Elizabeth.

It is interesting to note the importance given to this meeting, as it is the only time in the New Testament that there is a dialogue recorded between two women. This would be a good biblical trivial pursuit question at your Christmas family gathering.

In a few days we will celebrate the birth of Mary’s child: Jesus, the Son of God, the Son of Mary, born fully human and fully divine. Our Christmas present is the perfect presence of the Christ Child.

For the men out there, that may have to rethink their gifts, it’s easy to go online and order a present, or drop by the mall and pick up a gift—but the gift of ourselves, to make time to be with another, that’s a gift that many people long for but do not receive at Christmas. As I write this I’m thinking of people in nursing homes, hospitals, jails and the homeless that may be experiencing Christmas as another normal day of being rousted to move on. In my opinion, there is no greater gift that we can give than ourselves, our presence, our time. How do we find the courage and the strength to do this?

The answer lies in the reason we are gathered around the Eucharistic table. We come to this table with all our joys and sorrows to be nourished by the greatest gift Jesus gave us—his physical presence, his body and blood.[1]

The present of presence is so powerful that people, who do not regularly practice their faith, will make their annual pilgrimage with family to be in community with us and pack local churches. While this may create a parking lot nightmare and you may not get to sit in your self-designated pew. Please do not ask them to get out of your seat! Try a different approach, introduce yourself, welcome them, and find another seat on this special day, because these pilgrims are there to satisfy their hunger and thirst for this the greatest present the world has ever received, His holy and perfect presence.

In this Jubilee Year of Mercy your present of presence can begin with your prayers of mercy for the 5 people you choose as part of Project 5. To learn about Project 5 follow this youtube link: http://youtu.be/_6FzWrNFLgM

Scriptures: Micah 5:1-4a; Hebrews 10:5-10; Luke 1:39-45

Sunday, December 6, 2015

DEMANDING SEASONS

I believe there is a fundamental rhythm to every aspect of our life. In his book The Art of Exceptional Living, Jim Rohn uses the rhythm of the 4 seasons to explain 4 life lessons. Each season makes its demands of us. By becoming aware of them, learning them, and applying them in our own seasonal rhythm of life, there is no doubt these lessons will aid us in our Advent journey.

Handle the winters

Every year, winter comes. It always comes. We deal with it by preparing for it. Whether it’s changing our clothing, changing our way of life, or changing our location, we always get ready for winter; because we know it’s coming. The same applies to our life. Rough times WILL come. No life goes smoothly without a problem from beginning to end. Thus, we have to prepare for its demands physically and spiritually, so when it does come, we are not stuck in the cold without a coat. Be ready to handle the winters in life, to recognize the signs, so that in the midst of winter’s harsh demands we can “… stand erect, head raised … for your redemption is at hand.” (Lk 21:34)

Take advantage of the spring

Spring follows winter. It’s a time where opportunities arise. Flowers blossom and creatures come out of their hibernation. The same thing applies within our lives. After a challenging time, we will be faced with a great opportunity. It is our duty to take full advantage of the springs when they pop up. This is our moment to plant the seeds of greatness to come. We never see all the beauty that is life and nature on this planet decide not to awaken one year in the spring! It does because it’s meant to do so. Jesus’ great birth story doesn’t end in the tomb; it rises to new life, to a more intimate relationship with God and his human family. Let’s hold our own existence to that same standard. Make your springs the springboard to getting where you want to go, to who God created us to be.

Protect your summer

After planting our seeds in the spring, soon the summer will come. This is a time where we can reap the benefits of our crops. As well as being a time of joy and comfort, it’s also a time to be careful. Jim Rohn points out that “all good will be attacked”, the enemy of our salvation is a cunning master of deceit. If we are not careful, lulled into complacency of a job well done, our crops can either be stolen, destroyed, or spoiled. Therefore, we must do whatever it takes to protect our crops. I am confident of this, that the one who began a good work in you will complete it until the day of Christ Jesus.” (Phil 1:6) We can be confident that we “… are remembered by God.” (Bar 5:5) He will make lofty mountains low and fill age-old depths and gorges, leading us with mercy and justice. (Bar 5:7)

Take responsibility in the fall

As the autumn comes, the trees change color, lose their leaves, and the weather gets cooler. As we gear up for another winter, it is the best time to take full responsibility of what happened in the previous seasons, the good, the bad, and the ugly. This is the time where we can open ourselves to learning the lessons that the previous seasons taught us and put everything into perspective. They say that the fall is the time of the year where there is more depression than any other time. In part, this is due to people not taking such responsibilities nor learning from previous successes and/or mistakes. Only by doing so can we be ready once more to handle another winter that is coming, and plan for the following spring & summer.[1]

The season of Advent also has its demands. Advent says: “Wait.” It says, “Prepare.” It says, “Repent.” It says, “Convert.” Its patron saint isn’t the Baby Jesus—it’s John the Baptist. And today, he’s in a prison, a wretched hole in the ground, waiting for Jesus to come to his rescue. Just like you and me, sometimes: sitting in a hole of pain, suffering, anxiety, or worse, waiting for Jesus to come to our rescue. Today’s Gospel tells us that in the midst of the darkness and disorientation of our times a light will come, in a form we can understand, embrace and engage in a relationship of hope, where “all flesh shall see the salvation of God.” (Lk 3:6)

Let’s not allow the season of Advent to run its course without responding to its demands. Sure, we can ignore it, jump right to excitement of Christmas, if we want to. But we’ll miss the chance to do what Advent demands: quiet reflection, prayer, repentance, and conversion in anticipation of the Lord coming to our rescue.

I promise you: He will come![2]

Scriptures: Baruch 5:1-9; Philippians 1:4-6, 8-11; Luke 3:1-6