It's About A Relationship

I have many friends wrestling with illnesses that will take their lives sooner than later.  While every fiber of my being wants to begin mourning the situation, their spirits scream hope, compassion for others, and an intimate understanding of where they are going; knowing where their true home is, where the journey of this life concludes.

For some of these friends their relationship with God and Jesus has been evident way before the illness settled into their bodies.  For others it was in part the illness that helped them discover/re-discover the greater relationship.  Yet it is in all cases that their earthly community, especially church community and family, that makes the pain and suffering somewhat endurable.

I recognize in my own identity that I most often prefer to suffer alone.  While there are times when this may be appropriate, my friends suffering has brought to light the importance of the community relationships that have been forged in my life.  How these relationships, if allowed to enter close, can lift me beyond what I attempt to deal with alone.  I am often reminded of this when my wife goes in for surgery, no matter how minor.  When she is rolled away the emptiness and helplessness I feel.  Nothing else matters in this world except her and how I can help her heal, YET there is little I can do.

What I can do, rely on my relationship with the Lord, the Master Healer.  I gain great comfort placing my wife and all my friends who are ill in the constant care of my Lord and Savior.  I believe this is why Judy and I have devoted ourselves to praying the Divine Mercy and Healing the Family Tree chaplets before the exposed Eucharist.

It's about a relationship for our suffering selves, our community, our nation, and the whole world.

Angels Among Us

A few months ago I was invited to a young boys birthday party, he was going to turn 7 years old and instead of birthday gifts for himself he wanted to make sure everyone had a place to call home.

No there is not a typo.  I seven (7) year old boy expressed a very prophetic heart longing to house people in need, and it was not the first time!  John Ross has been making this type of requests from his 4th birthday.

• For his 4th birthday he collected bedding and food for homeless children and their adults;
• His 5th birthday it was toys for a family of 9 who lost everything in a fire;
• His 6th birthday his family and church community collected 328 toys and additional cash donations for the children at Arnold Palmer Hospital.  Not realizing he himself would be admitted for testing; 
• In April 2012 he raised over $2,400 for the Epilepsy Association of Central Florida; and 
• For his 7th birthday his family and church community did a fundraiser for Habitat for Humanity of Brevard County, Inc. because he say, "everybody needs a home".  John Ross raised $3,315.30 that will go to fulfilling Habitat's vision of "A world where everyone has a decent place to live."

On the Pentecost Sunday Jesus greats his disciples with "Again Jesus said, 'Peace be with you!  As the Father has sent me, I am sending you.' And with that he breathed on them and said, 'Receive the Holy Spirit.'" (Jn 20:21-22 NIV)  Meeting John Ross I have been intimately reminded of my identity in Christ.  I was baptized as an infant receiving the fullness of the Holy Spirit, claimed into the family of God, and anointed priest, prophet, and king.  Seems I spent many of my 50+ years forgetting and deaf to the working of the Holy Spirit within me.

"People were also bringing babies to Jesus to have him touch them.  When the disciples saw this, they rebuked them.  But Jesus called the children to him and said, 'Let the little children come to me, and do not hinder them, for the kingdom of God belongs to such as these.'" (Lk 18:15-16 NIV)  "And he said, "I tell you the truth, unless you change and become like little children, you will never enter the kingdom of heaven." (Mt 18:3 NIV)  I believe John Ross in his innocence can clearly hear the voice of the Spirit within and he willingly shares what he hears.

My still deeper appreciation of this experience is little prophet has captured the hearts and imagination of his parents and his church community.  What seems to be no big deal to John Ross, who is just obediently following the whispers of his heart, in a eye opener for the adults of his community, North Merritt Island United Methodist Church.  "Each year these events keep getting bigger and bigger," was the mantra repeated by several of the adult participants who were willingly sharing their gifts to bring John Ross' vision to reality.

I have been called to rediscover the innocent child within myself, by John Ross.  The child that remains open enough to hear the whispers of the Spirit that has always lived within me, and I pray that I may respond obediently to the call as innocently as my new friend John Ross.

Happy Birthday to an Angel Among Us.

My Core Identity

While attending a seminar this weekend on Social Justice, the initial question was asked, "Who Am I?"  How it was introduced made me think.

Imagine yourself at a party and someone walks up to you and begins a conversation.  In the course of that conversation introductions occur.  How would you introduce yourself?  Think about it for a moment ... how would you introduce yourself?

Most of us would start with our name.  The rest of the information we share about ourselves depends on a number of factors.  Am I in a safe environment (trusting who I am with)?  Is the party attached to personal friends, family, work, spouse's work, church event, or in public with a mix of acquaintances/strangers?  Taking all of this into account the things that came to my mind first were: titles held, work related stuff.  When getting comfortable with the conversation things like family related info, church ministries, and other leisure activities start to come out.  Yet these things and relationships are NOT my "core identity".  They are important as they have formed me in the way I see the world around me and influences the way I respond to it.  These traits can also enslave me or lure me away from recognizing/embracing my "core identity".

My "core identity" is Christian.  What does that mean?  It means that I acknowledge that I am a created being.  "God created man in his image; in the divine image he created him; male and female he created them." (Gn 1:27 NAB)  I am created by God, for God.  "...thus says the Lord, who created you, O Jacob, and formed you, O Israel:  Fear not, for I have redeemed you; I have called you by name: you are mine." (Is 43:1 NAB)  My parents had me baptized shortly after birth.  "Joseph, you have become a new creation, and clothed yourself in Christ" (Baptismal Rite) "So we are ambassadors for Christ, as if God were appealing through us." (2Cor 5:20)  So I'm committed and consecrated to a God who promised, "...I will be their God, and they shall be my people." (Jer 31:33, Ez 37:27, 2Cor 6:16, Heb 8:10)

My "core identity" thus demands of me to be what God has created and sanctified me to be, "LOVE".  To be His ambassador/disciple I must love all my brothers and sisters created by God, be the image of mercy, compassion, invitation, peace, forgiveness, hope, and presence.  What a tall order, thank God I believe in a loving God who approaches us first and calls us back each time we fall short of living our "core identity".

Different Shirts, Same Calling

I've managed to a mass several different polo shirts with different logos on them over the last 10 years.  Each of them represent a calling from God.

Upon retiring from the U.S. Navy in 2001 the first polo collected was for Habitat for Humanity of Brevard County, Inc.  I'd been a volunteer for the organization for 4 years and once retired I was asked to join the team as a construction site supervisor.  Little did I know what God had planned for me at Habitat.

After a couple years of conflict and desolation within my faith life in 2004 I attended a Christ Renews His Parish retreat and got a wake up call to action.  The calling which I had been putting off for career and family became very clear.  The call to the permanent diaconate.  Still a call to serve community but the shirt sports a cross and stole of a servant.  A servant to my church community and a servant of the community at large.

Last night I returned from Baltimore were I was oriented as a Catholic Relief Services, Global Fellow.  It was a moving experience to hear what CRS is doing globally to work "with" partners to assist the poorest of the poor in the world.

What energizes me for these ministries/callings is that I am not doing things "for" people I am doing things "with" people, on a church level, a local community service agency, and a global community service agency.

We are all connected, we are of the one human family, created by God, we ALL make up the one body of Christ.  We've been created, all of us and everything around us.  All we are asked to do is love one another as the Father has loved us -- locally, nationally, and globally.  The scary thing about this concept is it means we are all connected: what one person does - affects another person; what one nation does - affects another nation; what one country does - affects another country.

The Gospel of Matthew story of the Judgment of Nations (Mt 26:31-45) makes our choice and consequences of our choice clear.  Ask yourself these questions: "Lord when did we see you hungry..., thirsty... naked..., ill..., or in prison?  Did you take care of His needs to the best of your ability?

We are created in the image and likeness of God, therefore every human being bears a resemblance of Jesus himself.  Wherever their is human need, we see Jesus in need -- "...whatever you did for one of these least brothers of mine, you did for me." (Mt 26:40)

I'm A Father

May 1982, I was deployed to Diego Garcia with Naval Mobile Construction Battalion SIXTY-TWO, when I get the MARS Gram ... "It's a girl, Jennifer Lynn Gassman, mom and child are well."

September 1984, I was deployed to Autec Island, Bahamas with Naval Mobile Construction Battalion SEVEN, when I receive the phone call, It's a boy, Leo Joseph Gassman.

April 24, 2013, I'm waiting for a family friend to discuss her wedding plans.  While I am waiting in my truck outside the restaurant a very pregnant woman and her (I'm assuming) husband came out.  Something about the way they were walking and talking made me think, "Does he understand what is happening?"  I mean really understand.

I know from my experience those two contacts changed my life tremendously.  Jennifer is now 30 and Leo 28.  I carry copies of their baby pictures and I love them now as much as I did back then.  It is funny how our relationship with our children rides the proverbial roller coaster.  Yet, as parents we love them so deeply no matter how rough it might be.  If we are separated physically, emotionally, or because of differing points of view, we love them tremendously.

This is how I know God exists and that He came to be one of us in the person of Jesus, human in every way, willing to give His human life for our salvation.  This is agape love.  The kind of love we live out sacramentally as a married man and woman.  We are graced with the ability to be co-creators with our God, by our ability to produce children through an act of love and we come to see God in the child who loves and trusts us unconditionally (until they are teenagers), then we come to know God's pain when we sin (turn away from Him).  Yet, He loves us, calls us back, and mercifully forgives us.

This is the 5th Sunday of Easter.  The Gospel calls us to love as Jesus (God with us) loves us.  "This is how all will know that you are my disciples, if you have love for one another." (John 13:35)

Do You Hear Me!

A phrase I heard all to often as a child, a student, a military subordinate (I said it as a supervisor also), a husband, but today I heard it in a completely different venue.

I was out cutting the weeds at Habitat's new campus, once I shut off the brush hog it was about 6:45 p.m.  The evening quiet was broken by a woman's voice coming from the woods.  "I'm not going to live like this for the rest of my life!  Do you hear me!

Homelessness seems to strip so much from an individual.  There dignity and from a societal point of view their very identity.

I've seen the men coming out of the woods to the South of our new campus area, I can hear their moving about to the West of the campus.  Curiosity beckons a visit, but respect for their privacy reigns in my mind.  I am sure our paths with pass very soon as we clean up the fence line and eventually begin occupying our new campus.  I am hoping once we are settled that I can partner with the Housing Authority, who owns the property, to build affordable housing so the homeless will have an opportunity to gain affordable housing beyond their tents.

...and I'm not him.

In approaching the question of "identity" our pastor gave a very good sermon today concerning a short yet very profound concept that summarized the entire Bible in one sentence.

"God does exist, and I am not Him."

It is funny how many times over my life that I truly felt I was in control of my life.  I've learned to laugh about this over time.  In reality it has always been God in control.

I enjoy telling the story of how I came to Habitat for Humanity and eventually fully recognized and accepted my call to the permanent diaconate.  "I" chose to join the Navy right out of high school and the trade "I" chose the trade of heavy equipment operator.  "I" chose the move to serve as an active duty adviser to a reserve battalion in New York because "I" wanted to be stationed close to Judy and my families.  "I" discovered and chose to pursue a career change to become an human relations adviser and "I" chose our retirement time to stay here in Florida (actually Judy did, but you get the picture "I" believe).

What "I" have come to understand is that God led me to move in each of these of these life events to prepare  me for who I am today and what I do.  11 years in the construction field experiencing the many facets of the different trades as I was placed in roles where I needed to be very diversified and willing to learn on the fly.  11 years as a human relations trainer and adviser where I was confronted with my true self and experienced the diversity of God's people and allowed me to re-appropriate my faith as a Catholic Christian.  God, using everyday decisions to introduce me to His chosen people who would guide and form me to be the pastoral leader of a Habitat affiliate and ordination as a deacon.

God does exist, and I really know now, I am not Him.  

JoeSeabee

JoeSeabee is a nickname I picked up during my service with the Naval Construction Force as a Heavy Equipment Operator and has affectionately remained a part of me..  I was reminded today how deep this identity still exists as a permanent part of "Who I Am".

Remember when JoeMaMa was a comedy routine for Flip Wilson?  JoeSeabee came about one evening while on deployment while we were sitting around and joking.  The name became my first email address.  It was JoeSeabee who gave me the first glimpse of how our environment, our profession, and the people we hang out with influence who we can become.

You see JoeSeabee wasn't the high school athlete, the quite child raised in rural Western New York.  He was a very strict military professional, full of pride and ego, often very selfish and distant, and a willing participant in things Joe should not have been doing.  Yet JoeSeabee was successful, a strong leader that military men and women wanted to follow, but there was a cost.

Battalion life contributed to my military success opening my eyes to discovered gifts I never fully used growing up.  I also learned how intoxicating power can be.  The good news, there were those in my life (Judy my wife, being one of the most important and influential) who kept me grounded and prayed for me constantly that helped bring me back to a faith life that would school me in retaining the discovered gifts and use them for the greater good of others.

Back to what reminded me of how deep this identity of JoeSeabee is within me?  I was asked for input on a bulletin note to encourage our church community to prayer "with" the families of military members serving throughout the world.  Drafting the request and prayer became a very emotional thing for me as I remember that piece of my life.  22 years, thousands of brothers and sisters in arms, the experiences, the growing and maturing.

I am proud to have served my country and proud of the men and women who volunteer to defend and serve today and into the future.  May God bless and protect them.  May their families feel our prayers of support and compassion for them.

St. Ignatius Spiritual Exercises

Well tonight was the last night for our 30 week practice of the St. Ignatius of Antioch, Spiritual Exercises.  In part the Exercises are what prompted my desire to open a blog and share my interior journey.  

The first time I participated in the Exercises (5 years ago during diaconate formation) I was graced with the insight to Jesus' humanity.  This time I was graced with a more intimately connection to God's mercy and love for all of His children, all of His creation.

Every time I do the Divine Mercy Chaplet I feel more connected to the pain of this world.  All the fears and illness, the pain and poverty, attack me as I begin the prayer, bringing me often to the brink of tears.  Yet I have come to know God's mercy very well, Has has forgiven me.  During my general confession I was graced with the ability to let my past sins and wounds be forgiven, I learned to let go and truly give my entire being to God.  What a freeing experience!

Commitment

On the Third Sunday of Easter the word that stuck with me from the sermon was COMMITMENT.  Actually it was more than just the sermon.  I had the pleasure to participate in a Men's Conference at Holy Name of Jesus, over 500 Catholic men singing (yes, I typed right) singing praise and worship songs led by Josh Blakesley, and intently listening to inspiring presenters (Bishop John Noonan, Peter Herbeck and Fr. Mike Fones).

But let's go back to that word, COMMITMENT.

Using Peter Herbeck's analogy of a poker game with Jesus.  When its my turn to make the bet, with the chips representing all the things in my life, how do I bet?  To make a long story short, there is only one answer Jesus is looking for from me, bet it "ALL IN".

Is this what I've done?  Reflecting on the many moments and identities (masks and costumes) I've encountered I can see where I have only bet a few of my chips and clung to the rest, fooling myself in thinking I was in control.  It wasn't until I figured out and acknowledged how little control I really have that I could begin to shove more and more of my chips into the pot with Jesus.

The question I am sitting here honestly asking myself is, "Am I REALLY all in?"  For others they may perceive I am, but even that begs the inner question to myself even louder, "Am I REALLY all in?  Peter is confronted with this question in the Gospel of John (Jn 21:1-19).

The blessing in my self questioning and Jesus' response to Peter, Jesus will be with us and meet us where we are at.  I believe I am moving in the right direction and am working on being more boldly a disciple of Jesus.  I believe this is the purpose of this blog, may I do this in remembrance of Him who went "ALL IN" for my salvation. 

Who are you?

You never know who you will run into.

While entering our regular watering hole (Old School Pizza) and with the regular bar shuffle that occurs to get a space to belly up.  Low and behold who offers his seat up?  Boston Colleges Heisman Trophy winner and Buffalo Bill favorite... Doug Flutie.

He was a very gracious man as he stopped in for some of the best pizza in town.

In the beginning...

Often I've reflected on where I've come from, what & who has influenced who I have become, where I have traveled and how I've landed.  While I consider myself "A Regular Joe" I also believe God created me to be a unique as every other created person and thing.  We all have a place and purpose.

My experiences as a child, student, military member, husband, father, handyman, Habitat President, and permanent deacon have provided me with many joys and challenges which I just feel like sharing at times as I move forward.  

I am in constant contact with people from all stations in life and they are amazing!  With their permission I would like to share our relationship story and life's learning's that have helped me to be continually shaped and reformed into a passionate servant of God.