Friday, November 19, 2021

TRYING TO FIT IN

[1]There’s often a gap between what we want to be and what we think the world things we should be. Psychologist William James said, “A man has as many social selves as there are distinct groups of persons about whose opinion he cares. He generally shows a different side of himself to each of these different groups.”

Many spend their lives trying to fit in. Always wanting to please people, to make our parents proud, and to receive the approval form everyone and anyone—family, friends, teachers, partners, pastors, and bosses. All to gain the emotional benefits of fitting in.

So, without even realizing it, we change ourselves, our desires, sometimes even our opinions to fit into whatever mold is required at the given moment. But if we’re constantly trying to prove our worth to people, it may be true we’ve already forgotten our value.[2]

Eleazer know who he was, the man’s very name identifies the source of his strength: Eli (my god) azar (helper): “My God is my helper.” His unwillingness to agree to the plan offered by some of his acquaintances (pretending to eat some of the unlawful ritual meal to save his life) demonstrates both his faithfulness to God and his religious concern for the youth of his community. For 90 years, Eleazar lived an honorable life of integrity and was highly respected by the youth of his day—until he refused to compromise to save his life. Then many young people reviled him as he fell from revered elder to a foolish old man.[3]

We have a similar situation when Jesus calls “Zacchaeus, come down quickly, for today I must stay ar your house.” (Lk 19:5) And the people begin to grumble, saying, “He has gone to stay at the house of a sinner.” (Lk 19:7) Jesus wasn’t trying to fit in, he was fulfilling the mission of his Heavenly Father. “For the Son of Man has come to seek and to save what was lost.” (Lk 19:10)

This is the mission we were baptized into. To seek out the lost, the forsaken, those left out on the fringe of society and the Church. We are to live our Christian values in our everyday lives, that frankly, will often not make us the most popular people and even thought to be foolish.

The demand to fit in, the willingness to bend morality and faith is an ever-present temptation in our society. The pork society uses to tempt us is the pork of worrying what others will think of us if we done simply go along with the crowd, separating faith form daily life, surrendering the very core of who we know ourselves to be. But as Eleazar knew and Jesus models, some values are more important than life itself.


[1] Scripture (NABRE), Wisdom 13:1-19; Luke 19:26-37.

[2] Tinybudda.com, “Stop Trying to Fit In and Start Embracing Your True Self” by Jess Stuart.

[3] Weekday HomilyHelps, Exegessi by Sr. Diane Bergant, CSA PhD, Homily Suggestion by Timothy J. Cronin.


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