Sibling relationships are complex and influenced by a variety of factors including genetics, life events, gender, parental relationships, and experiences outside of the family. Parental favoritism is often cited as a source of adult sibling rivalry.[1] Showing favoritism is not a new issue in relationships. History tends to repeat itself, from generation to generation, and yet the pattern of life continues as showing favoritism is not a new issue in relationships.
“Israel loved Joseph best of all his sons” (Gn 37:3) and his brothers, due to extreme jealousy, betrayed Joseph. The plan starts with: “kill him” to “throw him into a cistern” to let’s make something on the plan and “sell him”. History repeats itself again, in the Jewish family, in the Parable of the Tenants Jesus invites his opponents to open their hearts and serve the kingdom of heaven. But the tenants refuse to cooperate with God’s plan. They mistreat and kill the landowner’s servants and his son. They’ve deluded themselves into thinking, having done so, they can claim the vineyard for themselves.
Jesus asked his opponents, “What will the owner of the vineyard do to those tenants when he comes?” (Mt 21:40), As they figure out who they represent in the parable, their motivation, much like Joseph’s brothers, reveals why they wanted Jesus arrested, why they would eventually abuse him, and why they will kill Jesus. Why, because they could not put aside their misguided agendas, their defense of “the Law” as they see it, and choosing to serve their own needs and desires instead of accepting God’s invitation to serve His kingdom.
There’s a reminder here for us. What is our motivation for action? Maybe we find ourselves acting in the same ways as we attempt to cling to possessions, power, to save face or a favored status? St. John Chrysostom wrote: “For what good is it if we abstain from birds and fish, if we devour our brothers and sisters?” Even the good deeds we do, if motivated and done for self-satisfaction, can fall short of accepting the invitation to build up the kingdom of God. Christian and human relationships are complex and influenced by a variety of factors including life & faith experiences, values, traditions, and so on… There are just so many ways we can, intentionally or unintentionally, mistreat, abuse, and kill each other; physically, mentally and spiritually.
Lent is a moment of grace, a promise of hope, it’s a time to examine ourselves and our motivation for action seriously. The Eucharist always reveals to us the good fruit produced by one act of total self-giving. This perpetual feast is motivated by God’s “ardent desire of being always with us which induced Him to perform this continual miracle, the abridgment of all miracles by which His immense love put Him in a state of being no longer able to be separated from us.”[2]
We are now the tenants leasing the vineyard, for a time. We are entrusted to tend to this vineyard, to produce good fruit, and who “will give [God] the produce at the proper times.” (Mt 21:41) This is the vision of the kingdom, where we are all God’s favorite.
[1] Verywellmind,
“How to Handle the Stress
of Adult Sibling Rivalry” by Elizabeth Scott, MS, May 6, 2020.
[2] Consecration
to Jesus, Through Saint Joseph, by Dr. Gregory Bottaro & Jennifer
Settle © 2019.
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