A LIFESAVING FRIENDSHIP

In his Nicomachean Ethics, Aristotle reveals himself as fairly unique among philosophers in the sense that he devotes a lot of time and thought to the question of friendship. Aristotle figured there were three kinds of friendships:

FRIENDSHIPS OF UTILITY: exist between you and someone who is useful to you in some way.  For instance, you're friendly with your cubicle mate mainly because she helps you figure out the printer when it jams.  These friendships are rooted in satisfying a need or want.  But when things go wrong, this friend may “become an enemy, and tells of the quarrel to your shame.” (Sir 6:9 NABRE)

FRIENDSHIPS OF PLEASURE: exist between you and those whose company you enjoy.  These are "activity buddies": people whom you do things with like playing golf, going for long bike rides or cow-tipping.  These friendships include the kind of relationships you have with a friendly neighbor in the coffee shop, gym, or tattoo parlor.  Friends with whom you enjoy to chit-chat or share good jokes.  Unfortunately, this type of friend may “not be with you in time of distress.” (Sir 6:8 NABRE) “He turns against you and avoids meeting you.” (Sir 6:12 NABRE)

FRIENDSHIPS OF THE GOOD: are based on mutual respect and admiration. These friendships take longer to build than the other two kinds--but they're also more powerful and enduring. They often arise when two people recognize they have similar values and goals; they have similar visions for how the world or at least their lives should be.[1]  Sirach has words of wisdom about the kind of friendship that enriches any relationship, including marriage.  “A faithful friend, he says, is a sturdy shelter, a treasure beyond price, a lifesaving remedy.” (Sir 6:14-16 NABRE)   

Divorce was allowed by Jewish law.  Jesus shares a loftier ideal for marriage. “From the beginning of creation,” he insisted, “God planned that male and female should become one flesh, what God has joined, no human being must separate.” (Mk 10:6-9 NABRE)

This Friendship of the Good is the kind of friendship we can find in the Paschal Mystery we enter into at every Mass.  Jesus, for the good of His bride the Church, continually offers us forgiveness in his words of encouragement in the sacred scriptures and feeds us with his very self in the Eucharist.  Even when we feel we are in the darkest of places, Jesus’ arms are out stretched to receive us into his loving presence. 

He is a faithful friend that we can lean on as a lifesaving remedy.

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[1] The 3 Kinds of Friendships, by Maura Kelly. May 6, 2010. Blog.