[1]The Lake Washington Square Disciples was an interdenominational partnership consisting of members from a Catholic, Presbyterian, Lutheran, and non-denominational churches who had been working for several Saturdays on the construction of a Habitat for Humanity house in Melbourne, FL. On July 31, 1999, the volunteers arrived on site to find a rock had been thrown through the front bedroom window, the frame holding the remaining pieces of the pane together. It was the first vandalism the project had experienced.
At first the senseless act was frustrating and disappointing. Workers wondered why anyone would not be supportive of an effort to build affordable housing in a neighborhood that had been sadly neglected for decades. Some volunteers even muttered that maybe their efforts were being wasted.
When the morning devotion was offered, the group prayed for the protection of the house, “My Spirit remains among you. Do not fear” (Hg 2:5), for the lifting of the spirits of the volunteers, “Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good” (Rom 12:21), and for the vandal, “Harden not your heart” (Ps 95:8). Afterward while some volunteers were sweeping up the rock and glass pieces, from the bedroom floor, the noticed the shape of the hole left by the rock. With very little imagination, they could see the outline of a dove with wings spread. The news of this discovery quickly buzzed through the work group. Frustration gave way to wonderment. God, through this image of the Holy Spirit, had entered the house in a special way, enriching the lives of the volunteers, the staff, and the family who now lives in the home.
No doubt you’ve heard the statement, “To err is human; to forgive divine.” What we hear in today’s Gospel reading is that to forgive is fully human—and therefore divine. God is passing on the mystery of His impossible, unconditional love from himself to all of us. We remind ourselves of this mystery every time we recite the perfect prayer Jesus taught his disciples, “Our Father … forgive us our debts, as we forgive our debtors” (Mt 6:12).
So, we’ve been treated badly, hurt in some way, we may have good reason to feel resentful and we don’t have to apologize for it. But for a moment, let’s put aside what the other person did and look at what anger does to us. If you’ve ever nursed a grudge for a long time, you know how resentment can eat you up, we’re not just talking about feelings here, it can take a physical toll on us.[2] Don’t ask me how I know this. What we must try to do is get beyond the offense and reject the temptation to wish ill on the person or seek revenge.
What we hear consistently through scripture is that God loves all of us in an unearned way, and that’s what forgiveness means. If we refuse to forgive, then we cannot be forgiven. This is the warning at the end of the Gospel. Where God, in his anger, will hand over the unforgiving servant “…to the tortures until he should pay back the whole debt” (Mt 18:34). This is a bit scary and it leaves me somewhat conflicted. Did we not just repeat, several times in our psalm response, “The Lord is kind and merciful, slow to anger, and rich in compassion.” Would our compassionate and merciful God turn us over to the torturer?
What I believe this parable is teaching is, we will be handed over to the torturer, and the torturer is our own mind, heart, and spirit. I think Jesus is talking about self-torture and we’re good at it. It’s not God who tortures us; humans most assuredly torture themselves and one another—and then project that onto God. If we keep holding on to the wrong-doing, the evil and/or the injustice we’ve experienced, blaming someone else, then we do ourselves and everyone else no good. Let it go! For the sake of your own salvation. Forgiveness is love in an unearned way.
Forgiveness, in my experience, reveals three goodness’s at the same time: First, we have to grant the offending party some degree of dignity and goodness. We must not demonize them. We must honor the divine presence in them, even with the mistakes they’ve made.
Second, we have to recognize the capacity for goodness inside ourselves. We have to draw from a deeper place, bigger than us, that is not so easily offended, in fact, it is un-offend-able. It’s the soul, the place where God dwells, a holy temple within us. When we draw from this place, we don’t need to count the cost or measure the offense. We’re living inside such a bigger love that little hurts really don’t matter and they’re not worth carrying around.
The third goodness, of course, is that we recognize the total and unconditional goodness of God, who has always shown us kindness and mercy. As the mystics and saints all realize, the center of this universe is kindness and mercy. This abundant love unlocks everything. It frees reality so we no longer need to count the cost, hate, blame, or attack anyone!
If God is kind and merciful, then we who are God’s children can only, somehow, become the same. We become the God we worship, the Christ we encounter in this mystery, who forgave even those who were in the midst of crucifying him, because God is forgiveness and love itself.[3]
While the Habitat family may have moved on, the lesson lives on: “Forgive you neighbors injustice and when you pray, your own sins will be forgiven.” (Ben Sira 28:8)
1. New American Bible, Saint Joseph Edition © 1986. Scriptures: Sirach 27:30-28:79, Romans 14:7-8, Matthew 18:21-35.
2. Sundays with Jesus, Reflections for the Year of Matthew. by James DiGiacomo, SJ © 2007 Paulist Press, Mahwah, NJ
3. Naked, and You Clothed Me, Edited by Deacon Jim Knipper © 2013. “Forgive your neighbor’s injustice” by Fr. Richard Rohr, OFM
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