Sunday, December 27, 2015

WITH GREAT ANXIETY!

I enjoy listening to Stephen Ray, he get so excited about finding scriptural connections as he constantly engages scripture.  As I reflected on scripture this week one work jumped out at me, "anxiety".  Remember in the third week of advent, during our preparation time for the birth of Jesus, Paul exhorts the Philippians from, his prison cell to, “Have no anxiety at all, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, make you requests known to God.” (Phil 4:6) and in today’s gospel reading we hear Mary engage Jesus with, “Son, why have you done this to us?  Your father and I have been looking for you with great anxiety.” (Lk 2:48)  What happened to having no anxiety at all?

The truth is there is but one kind of story that will hold our attention and feed our anxieties more than a missing child.  “Did she run away?”  “Will they find her?”  “Has he been kidnapped?”  “Is he still alive?”  The closer the family connection the greater the anxiety and with each passing day we fear the worst until suddenly one day the child turns up and is reunited with the parents, and millions of people who have been following the story breath a collective sigh of relief.  Even with this seemingly happy ending, it may not be quite over; there are questions to be answered.  That’s what Mary and Joseph went through for three long days, for no apparent reason, their son disappeared.[1]

Even if you are not married, or don’t have children of your own, you know raising a family brings with it all kinds of highs and lows.  Children make their parents proud and disappoint them, make them laugh and cry, make them worry and remind them to lighten up.  To bring them up right, you have to play seemingly conflicting roles.  You must be both demanding and reasonable.  You have to challenge them even as you affirm them.  You must know when to keep a short leash, and when to let go.  And you have to do it differently for each child!

Since the Annunciation, Mary understood the importance of her child, but her adoration must have been matched by a sense of fearful foreshadowing.  Remember Simeon’s words, “Behold, this child is destined for the fall and rise of many in Israel, and to be a sign that will be contradicted and you yourself a sword will pierce so that the thoughts of many hearts may be revealed.” (Lk 2:34-35)  If she worried, it was not in vain.  One of the most beautiful glimpses into Mary’s parenting can be found here in Luke, where we read, “…his mother treasured all these things in her heart.” (Lk 2:51)  Yes, Mary is blessed among women, but that blessedness comes with a great burden of responsibility.  And with all of that, Mary models to us a bit about parenting all children here.  She shows us a bit about life in general, because Mary learned to treasure things.  Even in those times when she was frustrated and angry with Jesus for disappearing and allowing her to think that the worst had happened to him, she treasured things.[2]

How do we treasure things?  Camera phones, Facebook, Youtube.  We plan special trips the Disneyland and dress our children up in cute outfits at the theme parks, then our memories will be even better!  Don’t forget the scrapbooking.  We need the acid-free paper, special scissors and particular albums to make sure that we treasure our moments properly.  But as we buy the products that manufacture memories for our consumption, are we able to take delight in our children?  Somehow Mary managed to treasure all of those things without a smartphone.

With a media that manufactures fear, we can become overwhelmed by worry and concern.  With the marketing of memories, we can become more interested in what we do not have than what we have.  And with the simple realities of parenting, we can become so preoccupied with the sleeplessness, messiness, and chaos that we forget to treasure things.  But can we learn from Mary?

I can tell you this as the grandparent of a 21 month old grandson that I have learned to treasure so much more.  I believe our daughter gets it as evidenced by her facebook post that reads, “You will never have this day with your children again.  Tomorrow they’ll be a little older than they were today.  This day is a gift.  Just breathe, notice, study their faces and little feet.  Pay attention.  Relish the charms of the present.  Enjoy today, it will be over before you know it.”  Watching the messiness of my daughter’s family life helps me recall the memories of my own children’s upbringing.  We had our share of sleeplessness, messiness and chaos; and I wouldn’t trade those treasured memories for anything in the world.

Jesus, Mary, and Joseph were not plaster saints; they were real people, going through the same highs and lows that we experience.  They remind us that, no matter what happens in a family, wounds are never too deep to heal.   Let me repeat this, no matter what happens in a family, wounds are never too deep to heal.  There were probably some neighbors who thought Mary didn’t do such a good job as a parent.  After all, her son was executed as a criminal.  That’s how much they knew.[3]


New American Bible: 1 Samuel 1:20-22, 24-28; 1 John 3:1-2,21-24; Luke 2:41-52
[1] Sundays with Jesus. By James DiGiacomo, SJ © 2006. Paulist Press, Mahwah, NJ.
[2] Hungry, and You Fed Me, Editied by Deacon Jim Knipper © 2012. “His mother treasured all these things in her heart.” by Rev Carol Howard Merritt.
[3] Sundays with Jesus. By James DiGiacomo, SJ © 2006. Paulist Press, Mahwah, NJ.

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