I enjoy listening to Stephen Ray, he get so excited about finding scriptural connections as he constantly engages scripture. As I reflected on scripture this week one work jumped out at me, "anxiety". Remember in the third week of advent,
during our preparation time for the birth of Jesus, Paul exhorts the
Philippians from, his prison cell to, “Have no anxiety at all, but in
everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, make you requests known
to God.” (Phil 4:6)
and in today’s gospel reading we hear Mary engage Jesus with, “Son, why have
you done this to us? Your father and I
have been looking for you with great anxiety.” (Lk
2:48)
What happened to having no anxiety at all?
The
truth is there is but one kind of story that will hold our attention and feed
our anxieties more than a missing child.
“Did she run away?” “Will they
find her?” “Has he been kidnapped?” “Is he still alive?” The closer the family connection the greater
the anxiety and with each passing day we fear the worst until suddenly one day the
child turns up and is reunited with the parents, and millions of people who
have been following the story breath a collective sigh of relief. Even with this seemingly happy ending, it may
not be quite over; there are questions to be answered. That’s what Mary and Joseph went through for
three long days, for no apparent reason, their son disappeared.[1]
Even
if you are not married, or don’t have children of your own, you know raising a
family brings with it all kinds of highs and lows. Children make their parents proud and
disappoint them, make them laugh and cry, make them worry and remind them to
lighten up. To bring them up right, you
have to play seemingly conflicting roles.
You must be both demanding and reasonable. You have to challenge them even as you affirm
them. You must know when to keep a short
leash, and when to let go. And you have
to do it differently for each child!
Since
the Annunciation, Mary understood the importance of her child, but her
adoration must have been matched by a sense of fearful foreshadowing. Remember Simeon’s words, “Behold, this child
is destined for the fall and rise of many in Israel, and to be a sign that will
be contradicted and you yourself a sword will pierce so that the thoughts of
many hearts may be revealed.” (Lk
2:34-35)
If she worried, it was not in vain.
One of the most beautiful glimpses into Mary’s parenting can be found
here in Luke, where we read, “…his mother treasured all these things in her
heart.” (Lk 2:51) Yes, Mary is blessed among women, but that
blessedness comes with a great burden of responsibility. And with all of that, Mary models to us a bit
about parenting all children here. She
shows us a bit about life in general, because Mary learned to treasure
things. Even in those times when she was
frustrated and angry with Jesus for disappearing and allowing her to think that
the worst had happened to him, she treasured things.[2]
How
do we treasure things? Camera phones,
Facebook, Youtube. We plan special trips
the Disneyland and dress our children up in cute outfits at the theme parks,
then our memories will be even better!
Don’t forget the scrapbooking. We
need the acid-free paper, special scissors and particular albums to make sure
that we treasure our moments properly.
But as we buy the products that manufacture memories for our
consumption, are we able to take delight in our children? Somehow Mary managed to treasure all of those
things without a smartphone.
With
a media that manufactures fear, we can become overwhelmed by worry and concern. With the marketing of memories, we can become
more interested in what we do not have than what we have. And with the simple realities of parenting,
we can become so preoccupied with the sleeplessness, messiness, and chaos that
we forget to treasure things. But can we
learn from Mary?
I
can tell you this as the grandparent of a 21 month old grandson that I have
learned to treasure so much more. I
believe our daughter gets it as evidenced by her facebook post that reads, “You
will never have this day with your children again. Tomorrow they’ll be a little older than they
were today. This day is a gift. Just breathe, notice, study their faces and
little feet. Pay attention. Relish the charms of the present. Enjoy today, it will be over before you know
it.” Watching the messiness of my
daughter’s family life helps me recall the memories of my own children’s upbringing. We had our share of sleeplessness, messiness
and chaos; and I wouldn’t trade those treasured memories for anything in the
world.
[1] Sundays with Jesus.
By James DiGiacomo, SJ © 2006. Paulist Press, Mahwah, NJ.
[2]
Hungry,
and You Fed Me,
Editied by Deacon Jim Knipper © 2012. “His mother treasured all these things in her heart.” by Rev Carol Howard Merritt.
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