POSITIVE PEER PRESSURE

When we think about peer pressure, we might think about our adolescence years and remember Mom always asking if we'd jump off of a bridge just because everybody else was doing it. But adults experience peer pressure, too. It may not be as direct or intentional as the kind of peer pressure teenagers experience, but peer pressure in adulthood can be every bit as harmful.

If you've adopted values, beliefs, goals or hobbies based on what others in your peer group believe or do, you've experienced peer pressure, whether positive or negative.

Maybe you drink to excess on the weekends even though you don't enjoy it, because that's what your friends do or you work a lot of overtime to afford the kind of lifestyle of your siblings or friend, even though it’s a lifestyle that doesn't really excite you.  Negative peer pressure leads us to behave in ways that contradict our true values.

On the other hand, maybe you quit smoking because your non-smoking friends were supportive, or maybe you returned to Church because so many of your peer group were excited about their parish life.  Positive peer pressure leads us to make choices consistent with our inherent values.[1]

“Blessed the man who follows not the counsel of the wicked nor walks in the way of sinners, nor sits in the company of the insolent” (Ps 1:1). My parent used to tell me, be your own person, be careful who you hang around.

St. John of the Cross is a saint because his life was a heroic effort to live up to his name: “of the Cross.” The folly of the cross came to full realization in time. “Whoever wishes to come after me must deny himself, take up his cross, and follow me” (Mark 8:34) is the story of John’s life. The Paschal Mystery—through death to life—strongly marks John as reformer, mystic-poet, and theologian-priest.  What if we would let Jesus be the source of the peer pressure we succumb too?  We are called to be a source of positive peer pressure.  Instigators of Joy, Love, Peace & Hope in an often struggling world.

The first reading says, “I, the LORD, your God, teach you what is for your good, and lead you on the way you should go.” (Is 48:17) If we let others determine the kind of person we should be, then we are not free to be the person God made us to be.

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[1] Sylvia Brafman Mental Health Center Blog, “How To Deal With Peer Pressure as an Adult” http://www.mentalhealthcenter.org/how-to-deal-with-peer-pressure-as-an-adult/

ARE WE DOING OUR BEST?

[1]Years ago, when stationed in Hawaii, I coached flag football for some years. I had the young kids just starting their football careers. They were of the age where they needed lots of very specific direction and a generous portion of encouragement. We were a good team winning often. We started every game reminding the players of their specific job and encouraged them to do their best. When the game ended, I always asked the kids, “did you do your best?” It seemed so easy to feel their best when they were winning. It was after first loss, a tearful loss I must say, that the real learning began. Much to the surprise of the on looking parents and sports director my after-game talk was the same, “Did you do your best?” Some would share how they felt they made mistakes and I’d ask them to describe the mistake. My last question was, “how do we get better?” We’d end with, “even if we lose the game, if we did our best, we can go forward with our heads held up, because we are learning to be a better player and teammate.”

You see in sports there are mini advents. As each game ends, we took the time to reflect on our performance, rededicate ourselves to make the necessary commitment to improve, trying to avoid the same mistakes, all in preparation for the beginning of the next game. Isn’t this what God is calling us to do as we begin the Advent season?

Our first reading is framed in the form of a prophesy for the material and spiritual renewal of the Jerusalem population devastated by the long siege by Babylon. For the Israelite nation the future seemed to be dark, the clouds heavy and rain pouring down upon them. Yet Jeremiah reminds them of God’s promise to “raise up for David a shoot; he shall do what is right and just … and Jerusalem shall dwell secure.” (Jer 33:15-16) Throughout the Book of Jeremiah the Nation of Israel is encouraged to give their best to God, to turn from vain idols, and walk with their heads held up having faith, hope and trust in God’s promises.

We find in St. Paul’s letter to the Thessalonians a formula for preparing ourselves to be a prophesy of hope for a very troubled world. Paul tells us to ask the Lord to make us “increase and abound in love for one another and all, [and to] strengthen our hearts to be blameless in holiness” (1 Thes 3:12). All too often we hear, “I won’t talk to or forgive so-and-so, until they apologize or agree to some other condition.” Paul desires a mature, fraternal love, open to everyone in the community. I use to tell the young players you may not like your teammate, but for the sake of the team you must respect them and learn to encourage each other. We win together and we lose together. For us, we might not like our neighbor, like the way they speak, their political ideology, or even how our neighbor on the street smells; yet for the sake of our salvation, we must respect them and lift them up as a fellow child of God. This is the finest preparation and guarantee to meet the Lord when he comes. Are we doing our best? Are we practicing what we have attained by our Baptism in Christ?

Let’s talk about the Lord’s coming. Jesus borrows images of the prophets, telling us there will be signs announcing his return. The key to his message is to “Beware that our hearts do not become drowsy from carousing and drunkenness and the anxieties of daily life.” (Lk 21:34) He is telling us in our preparation, as we are attentive to the signs, we must avoid getting drunk on the things of this passing world. He is telling us, You and I just might be the signs to which others look to see, “the Son of Man” (Lk 21:27) the hope of God’s promise.

Last week, in our celebration of Christ the King, Fr. Josh reminded us that in every Eucharist we get to see the King of Kings face-to-face. Every time we celebrate the Mass, we can experience an Advent, an ending yet a beginning. An opportunity to ask am I doing my best? An opportunity to acknowledge our mistakes, ours sins. An opportunity to recommit to doing better. And an opportunity to enter into the passion, death and resurrection of Jesus, to be strengthened by His body and blood so as we re-engage the world with our heads raised as we experience the Lord’s presence now. What do we hope for at Christmas but freedom from the chains of an obstinate character, the liberation of our life from attitudes and unhealthy activities that enslave us in the present? In doing our best we may still be apprehensive in the face of the announcement of God’s coming. Yet, in this unpredictable world, God assures us of his care. In our vulnerability, God comes as the most vulnerable of all, a newborn child.[2]

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[1] New American Bible, Saint Joseph Edition © 1986.  Scriptures: Jeremiah 33:14-16; 1 Thessalonians 3:12 - 4:2; Luke 21:25-28, 34-36.

[2] Sundays with Jesus, Reflections for the Year of Luke, James DiGiacomo, SJ © 2006.

CIVIL & CHRISTIAN CITIZENSHIP

Several years ago, I was working on a project in a medium security prison.  In those days, I had a very idealistic and unrealistic picture of what was happening in the prison. I thought “we” (the prison authorities and project leaders) were in charge.  The prisoners knew the rules and complied with them enough to avoid punishment.  What I came to see was there were two systems of authority in prison.  The prisoners had a kind of government of their own inside those walls.  A system of values, of what was right and wrong, their own authority structure and chain of command, and their own means of enforcement.  “Obedience” to prison authorities within those prison walls was, at best, compliance. Whole-hearted cooperation was exceedingly rare.

I discovered over time that the military, business and even the church was not much different than the prison where there were functionally two authority structures.  The official chain of command and policies, but also the unofficial chain of command and a different set of rules.  Often the unofficial system proved to be more effective and efficient.  People always complied with the official rules and policies, but the way to get things done was through the unofficial system.  There was compliance, but little cooperation.

This dual-citizenship of sorts has a temptation to be compliant yet the ability to use either system to gain what a person most needed or selfishly wanted.

As Paul’s letter to Titus nears its end, he returns to the obligations of good citizenship urging their followers to proper obedience to civil authorities and the idea that Christians should “slander no one, to be peaceable, considerate, and exercising all graciousness toward everyone.” (Ti 3:1-2) These behaviors could well be stressed and repeated today in our country and culture.

The final section of the reading contains language used that is generally considered to be a preexisting baptismal hymn.  The role of the Trinity is clear.  Everything begins with the kindness and love of God, our Savior (the Father), and through Jesus, our Savior (the Son), the Holy Spirit is poured out on us in Baptism, the bath of rebirth to our true citizenship.

The Psalmist tell us God has “spread the table before [us] in the sight of [our] foes. (Ps 23:5) It is at this table that we learn to balance and reconcile the two authorities of our life, the civil and the sacred.

As Jesus’ journey to Jerusalem nears its end, once again it’s a Samaritan who shows the proper response for his healing, gratitude, as he returns to give thanks and praise to God.  This healing story illustrates how Jesus reaches across society’s boundaries and walls to bring his message of healing and wholeness to those whose true citizenship is with Him and the communion of saints.